Nocturnal Episodes

I wake early each morning
to visit my toilet friend
I am so ambidextrous
I can use either hand

I take a while to get going
but I’m patient as can be
these days it isn’t flowing
as fast as when I was three

And often when I’m waiting
I’m never really alone
Surely someone else is out there
checking whatsapp on their phone

I text them and I tease them
and drop the occasional pun
doing single-handed whatsapp
until the deed is done

So when you see me online
in the morning hours so wee
you know your hero and best friend
is awake to have a pee!

Dedicated to Chak Wong’s nocturnal escapades