My “Lap Chun” Predictions
February 7, 2018
Donald’s Selected Predictions of Careers in Next Reincarnation
(based on an exhaustive analysis of WhatsApp postings)
| Aida Boey | Late night talk show host OR Indonesian maid bounty hunter |
| Annathurai | ER surgeon OR personal accident insurance salesman |
| Anthony Tan Kim Eng | Cellar Master Château Pétrus OR “stinky tofu” maker |
| Cecilia Robert | German Chancellor OR einfaltspinsel (simpleton) |
| Chew Guat Leng | High tea chef OR kuih-seller |
| Gengatheran Rasiah | Bollywood A-Lister OR cinema usher |
| Goh Chak Wong | Golf equipment tycoon OR bomoh |
| Henry Ng Hon Yuen | Christian talent show host OR pork seller |
| Hilmy Mohd Nor | Cardinal OR whiskey bottle recycler |
| Jasen Khoo Chin Guan | Indian good morning meme designer OR petrol pump attendant |
| Kok Keat Moy | Single malt distiller OR bartender |
| Lai Kim Leong | Tour de France champion OR bike repair shop owner |
| Lian Kwen Fee | Gynecologist OR sex toy hawker |
| Loe Tuck Yen | President, coffee growers association OR Kopi Tiam owner |
| Looi Seng Fook | Michelin guide editor OR pasar malam food tout |
| Melanie Leong | Prime Minister OR Soup kitchen cook |
| Vinayak Pradhan | President, International Criminal Court OR ambulance chaser |
| Wai Kuen Leong | Curator, Balai Seni Negara OR pole dancer |
| Wendy Lim Lian Bee | Poet OR banana farmer |
Apologies for unintentional insults, slights and misrepresentations. “Lap Chun” or “Li Chun” is the first day of the Chinese New Year.